It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
