? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
