My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
