SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
i think my cat just said my name.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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