is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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