I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
