Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize