Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
