have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
