Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
