Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
