i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
