If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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