I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
