Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
