Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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