I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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