just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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