at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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