Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
