I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
