i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
