I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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