she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
