My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
