All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize