I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
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I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
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Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize