My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
