We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
