sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
