Soap is not a condiment
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
