How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
