the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
