And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
