Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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