Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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