**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
