Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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