he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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