So drunk its hurt
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
