we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
