My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
