You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
