He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
