We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So much rum. So many feels.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
