The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize
