i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
