I think I died a long time ago.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
