i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
