Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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