Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
