I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
