Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
