If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
