haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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