I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
