you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
