you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Randomize